Life Through My Eyes

...a Blog about REAL Life.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

We ALWAYS Have a Choice!

Stop for a moment and ask yourself: Why am I reading this blog? What am I seeking? Information, clarity, a new perspective? Now, ask yourself if gaining that will improve your life or make you a better human being? If not, then sign off this page right away!

Hopefully, you're still reading because this writing is about choices...our every day, moment to moment choices and how they affect us. 

We're making choices with every breath we take. We choose when we get up, when we go to sleep, when we eat, what we eat, when we check our email, when we play, when we exercise, when we rest, when we clean, when we work, what we wear, what we drive, where we shop, and the list goes on and on. We choose how and with whom we communicate, how we respond to others' communication, what we believe, what we perceive, how we think, how we express ourselves, and what we do to survive. We choose our lovers and our friends, our enemies and our allies. We choose our sorrow, our joy, our inspiration and our discouragement. Yes, we are at choice every moment of our lives, although many will argue relentlessly to the contrary. If you are pushing against the very idea of it even at this moment, that too is a choice.

It's true that we don't always choose our circumstances, at least consciously; however, we have complete control of how we perceive our circumstances, regardless of the obvious pain or joy involved. If we have accepted the premise that we are powerless to choose, we have actually accepted a victim (powerlessness) perspective. When we feel powerless, we feel trapped and unable to feel powerful without anger, manipulation, control, passiveness, aggressiveness, or both. If we don't feel in control or at choice, and especially if we feel overpowered, we'll do whatever we can to survive. Unfortunately, some of our survival strategies only keep us in the victim cycle, causing us further pain, confirming the belief that we are indeed powerless. It's really just a vicious cycle.

But there's a way out! It may sound too easy at first, but I guarantee that if you choose to adopt this one simple premise, your life will change dramatically. Are you ready? Here it is: 

"Life is happening FOR me, not TO me. All things come to me for my highest good."

That's it! When this perspective is applied to any circumstance, it can instantly change how we feel and therefore, how we respond. Try it on! Think about the most recent experience in which you felt out of control or powerless. Now, consider that it came from God, with love, to serve you in some way. What do you imagine the purpose might have been, if it were intended to help you grow, heal, and evolve?

It sometimes takes a while to wrap our minds around the possibility that our pain is useful, however, it is very useful and we can learn to use it and let it go, rather than continuously survive it. Shifting this paradigm is the first step.

While we're shifting, we might as well look at our unhealthy habits and behaviors too, including addictions, codependency, obsessive/compulsive tendencies, anger/rage, passive/aggressiveness, depression, and more. Many people have decided that they're powerless to change these kinds of behaviors and habits, but they're really only choices we once made in survival, that turned into habits, which turned into addictions and compulsions, and became a cycle of self-destructive wounding. Well, we chose once, so we can choose AGAIN! 

Once we come out of the fog and accept that we're choosing all the time, we can begin the process of healing. It helps to locate and understand the triggers that tempt us to make unhealthy choices to begin with, which may require some digging. (You would probably be very surprised at what they are!) Once aware of why we're choosing, we're back in control of what we choose.

An easy way to determine if the choice you are about to make will empower or sabotage you, is to ask yourself, "Will this help me be a better human being?" You'll know very quickly if making that choice will serve your highest good, or not. This tool is especially helpful when applied to addictive habits and behaviors; you need only have the awareness and willingness to use it.

Yes, it is true...whether we have it all or we have nothing, we always have a CHOICE. That really does change everything, doesn't it?

Happy choosing! 

Saturday, October 23, 2010


How does one ROCK one's LIFE? Shake it up! Do it different. Make a change. Take a risk. Look within. Explore. Heal. Be willing to grow. Sit still. Move your body! Surrender. Trust. Trust yourself. Practice. Forgive. Forgive yourSelf. Believe your WORTH it. Invest in your life. Stop making excuses. Make a difference and mean it! Take a stand. Be bold. Be humble. Wake up! Use your voice. Listen to your Soul. Follow the tug.

It's time. Are YOU ready?

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Then I Woke Up

There was a time in my life when the conditions of the world felt very personal and I felt completely inadequate in my attempts to reach peace…even in my own heart. I wanted to scream at those who didn't “get it”...who couldn't see that they were causing their own dismay and discontent, and at choice in their misery. It was painful and often irritating to hear their complaints, while witnessing as their actions and choices kept them stuck in painful cycles of revenge and hurt. I felt impatient and agitated with their complacency, and their righteousness disgusted me. I wanted to shake them awake!

Then I woke up.

I woke up and realized…I was the one who wanted to scream; I was the one who was discontented and irritated with other’s behaviors; I was the one judging and blaming and miserable. I was…them! I was shrinking in my capacity to love at a time when I needed to love more. And it hurt like hell. Spirit was trying desperately to show me something and when I finally surrendered, took a deep breath, and listened, this is what it whispered…

"You cannot sit at odds with the conditions of your life if you choose to deny your own integrity and default to old beliefs and habits. You must move to recover yourself and let your integrity do your bidding. You cannot blame your humanness, for if you are aware enough to blame, you are awake! And do not fool yourself with anger, prejudice or victimization, because these are of fear and fear does not exist where Truth resides. Nor should you coax yourself into believing you are choosing from Truth if you have even a morsel of shame, because Truth exists without shame, without regret, and without fear. Do not blame others for what you lack, for it is your own lack of compassion that breeds your blame. Nor blame your humanness for your lack of will...for humans exist only by will; God’s will, the will to breathe, the will to love, the will to choose.
Be willing to choose love...again and again and again, when in doubt, when in pain, when in fear…and love until there is nothing else. Nothing but endless, boundless, love! You ARE love. Nothing more. And nothing less.”

Sometimes I still go back to sleep, even now, but Spirit always has a way of waking me up, just before I hit the ground. Thank Godness! :)

“I have found that if I love until it hurts, there is no more hurt…there is only more love.”  ~Mother Theresa 

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Amazed by Grace

After dropping my daughter off at school this morning, I was making my way back through the parking lot, mindfully observing those who weren't observing me (so as not to smush 'em like bugs on the blacktop) and something quite amazing happened. Keep in mind, this is high school. There are no crossing guards in high school. And these are high school kids...entitled as they cross wherever they like, whenever they like, taking full ownership of their "right of way" as pedestrians. 

So, this morning, as I slowed to a stop to let a young man and his girlfriend cross, he looked directly at me and in what seemed to be an automatic response, raised his hand and smiled a "thank you". In an instance, I was snapped out of my "still-on-my-first-cup-of-coffee" daze and filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I smiled back, but he'd already looked away. Had I not been in my pj's, I would have jumped out of the car and hugged him right there on the spot! 

Why so amazed and elated by something as common as a courtesy wave? Well, because it's not very common any more. Not just in high school parking lots, but anywhere! And I'm not just talking about the obvious. (Think "metaphor")

Having the "right of way" does not necessarily guarantee safe passage, regardless of what one is "entitled" to and I think a little common-sense kindness goes a long way. I personally do my best to make sure I wave, smile, nod or offer some measure of acknowledgement for the courtesy another extends me, whether I'm jogging, driving, or in the shopping-cart-chaos that is Costco on a Saturday afternoon. Why? Because it's just good manners, for one...and two, I like good karma. But most importantly, because a young man in a parking lot made my day this morning with a simple smile and a wave when he had no reason to do so other than simple, every-day grace. Enough said. 

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

You're Gorgeous Inside!

I saw this sign posted in front of a home for sale one day and thought, "I WANT A SIGN LIKE THAT!" A bumper sticker...a name-tag...SOMETHING! It sounds silly, but I swear that house actually stood a little straighter...a little more confident. And it was a beautiful house on the outside as well, but that didn't stop the seller from inviting the world to look on the inside, where they would actually live every day. 

Where they would be comfortable and safe; where they would love and be loved; where they would be vulnerable, and creative, and cleansed and fed. Where they would be naked and real and at "home" with their families. It was an invitation to go past what we see on the outside and step inside, where the good stuff is! 

I thought it was a brilliant metaphor for how we present ourselves in the world. How many of us would be bold enough to boast an "I'M GORGEOUS INSIDE" sign? At first thought, it sounds arrogant or conceited, but in reality, it requires a great deal of humility to invite others to see us on the be that real and willing to own the beauty of ALL of it. The truth is, we ARE gorgeous all of our humanness and realness, but the "signs" we tend to drag around more often say things like, "NEEDS WORK", or "REDUCED TO SELL", reflecting our Self-judgments rather than celebrating our true beauty!

So, since that day, I decided to wear a virtual "I'M GORGEOUS INSIDE" sign around my neck...and I do believe I've walked a little taller, been a little kinder, and smiled a whole lot more! 

Friday, September 24, 2010


My first session today was at the wee early hour of 8:00am, (by phone, thank goodness!) with a client in NY, who was challenged with a decision she needed to make. She and her partner are relocating to Santa Fe and she was concerned about not having a job lined up, so was torn between giving her notice (she manages a NY clothier) and going with him in October, or working another month in NY and joining him later. Obviously, she wanted to go with him, but the security of another full month's income was also appealing, and felt like it might be necessary.

I immediately (intuitively) got "Go NOW and TRUST", but I sat still and let her walk through the pros and cons, encouraging her to pay attention to what felt  "good" and what felt like a "should". I heard a huge exhale of relief on the line when she named her decision to go sooner than later. She already "knew", but wasn't trusting herself and only needed a little encouragement to listen from that deeper place within.

Within a half hour, I got an email from her that said, "See what happens the second you make the right decision!" and attached was an email she'd just received from someone in Santa Fe, inquiring about her resume! And all before 9am this morning. 

I think it's gonna be a gooooood day! :)))) 

Let go NOW and TRUST and the Universe will offer up everything you need to take the next step. But what if we make the wrong choice, you ask? No worries...we always get to choose again!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

My First Blog EVER!

Hello and welcome to my blog! Yep, this is my very first blog entry...EVER! I'm very excited to share it with you, as my intention is to create a space for REAL life to it comes, and in whatever form it takes...that will support and allow for healing, sharing, expanding, exploring, and connecting in our humanness.. 

As we tweak the pages and make revisions, I'll continue to write, but for now...blessings for your day and THANK YOU for stopping by!