Life Through My Eyes

...a Blog about REAL Life.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Get Behind Me!

As we make this collective shift of masculine/feminine energy and balance is restored for the whole, it opens each of us to our own energies that have been out of balance for so long….literally for EONS! This presents as chaos at first, just as it has on the planet, because status-quo must be disrupted for anything to change. What was once tolerable becomes unbearable, issues surface, truth and untruths are revealed and brought out into the light to be healed or let go of. Relationships are turned on their head as all things dormant are awakened. It isn't easy and often not pretty, but it has been outrageously gorgeous in the grand scheme of things! For me personally, it has served as some of the deepest, most profound healing I’ve experienced, within Self and in partnership, as my own masculine/feminine energy is being re-set.

This shift has been occurring for some time, but it began to come fully into view about a year ago, when I started running and walking with a male neighbor-friend. It occurred to me that any time there was a car or bike approaching us, he would very gently shift his energy to the outside, putting himself between me and whomever was approaching. There was no bold movement or drama…he just very naturally took his protective position as the masculine. Now, let me explain that while I’m a predominately feminine woman, I’m also very independent and have little tolerance for so-called “damsels in distress”, so there was a time in my life I might have been insulted by such a gesture. However, what I noticed most was the exhale of relief I felt deep down every time he did this, which I now know was my feminine Self truly and finally…relaxing. She felt completely safe with him.

Sometime after,  I was running on the trail by myself and noticed a man jogging toward me in a hooded jacket. He wasn’t menacing, although I felt my OWN masculine Self energetically step in front of me, in a sort of “Get behind me!” gesture, the way a man might protect a woman or a child. I was hyper-aware of what was happening, as if observing it from outside my body, and realized this is exactly what has occurred with the masculine/feminine within me my entire life. Just as my masculine friend steps between me and potential danger, so does my masculine Self! He speaks up, stands up, and sometimes puffs up if I’m potentially threatened, be it emotional, physical, verbal, or energetic...male or female. He doesn’t tolerate abuse or injustice, manipulation, or dishonesty and has been known to bear teeth and claws when backed in a corner.

Oh, for so long I’ve judged this strong, outspoken, sometimes aggressive part of me as unloving and unkind, and even unholy, when in fact, it has been my own Divine masculine…a powerful protector, warrior, motivator, and provider. He has helped me raise two girls as a single parent, run a successful business, maintain healthy financial balance, stay well and fit. He has helped me make tough decisions, held me accountable and in integrity, motivated me to take action, to move on, to say NO, or say YES. He has pushed me to take control, take my leave, stand my ground, and honor my boundaries. With men, he’s been somewhat like a protective father sizing up the “boy at the door”, sending them away if they didn’t step up in honor and integrity. He has always shown up when I’ve needed strength and has been my balance when I was shaky. And that day, right there on the trail…I got it. This is my Divine masculine’s PURPOSE!

Don’t get me wrong…my Divine feminine is always and ever present, with finely tuned intuition and a vast capacity and commitment to love and intimacy, but it is my masculine Self with the excellent instincts and the courage to act on them. He understands and honors both the strength and vulnerability of my sacred feminine and will never allow her to be harmed or mistreated. Ironically, this is what enables (rather than prevents) her to fully surrender and relax in partnership with a man. If a man is not steadfast in his own integrity and masculine core, my feminine will not feel safe and my masculine will not step aside.

And that was it…in that moment, I literally felt my paradigm shift from one of judgment and the need to change or correct this aspect of me, to one of deep gratitude and FREEDOM, knowing I can completely trust my masculine Self to protect and honor me at all times. And that he does!  Today, any time he signals a “Get behind me!” I do so without question, without judgment, and without apology and let him do his JOB.

And that neighbor man and me? He got two thumbs up! We’re still running together…and walking…and living…and loving in the most exquisite, sacred and balanced partnership either of us has ever experienced. Oh, what a Divine shift this has been! 

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